What's bothering you at this moment? and any suggestions for my problems?

I feel so bad for you, often with serious illnesses comes depression. It comes somewhere between denying the illness and acceptance of it. You are going through so much right now. being a teenager you are dealing with all the pressures of growing up and now being seriously ill you have the added burden of feeling you may not grow up. It would be a good idea for you to talk to your Dr. at length regarding your feelings. I know not all anti-depressants are good for teenagers due to side effects but he may be able to give you something appropriate or refer you to a therapist or support group. You have a lot to handle right now and seem to be grasping for something to hold onto. I hope that you recover from your illness and go on to live a wonderful productive life. You have only one life whether long or short live it to it's fullest. I wish you happiness.